


Love

by Asami_T



Series: Asami's One-Shots [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Abstract, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, F/M, Friendship/Love, Loss, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22093600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asami_T/pseuds/Asami_T
Summary: Love is a very complex state of being.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker/Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Asami's One-Shots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/933525
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	Love

Love was one of those abstract things that he’d never been able to put to words properly. Love, to him, was the very fabric of existence. It was _everything._

In his childhood, love had always been something he shared with his mother, a sole beacon of happiness and comfort in an unrelenting place where the suns scoured clean every inch of every word and every action. Love had carried him through his paces, keeping his head down in deference to his master, and working hard to slowly build a droid so his Mom never had to work hard in her own home, as small and as cramped as it was.

But love to him was deeper than just an appreciation– it was an abstraction. A love for sentient life, a longing lustful love for freedom.

Love took on new form on the fateful day when the angel cast her shadow upon the door to the junk shop. Standing there, radiant as the setting twin suns, he’d learned a new meaning of love– an unrequited, messy feeling. A heart beating too fast, the feeling of weakness in the knees, a desperate dream of doing anything to help.

It had been a childhood crush, one that would blink away as soon as they were gone, and life returned to normal once these Jedi had gone.

But that hadn’t been quite what happened.

Love had torn him in two, as he ever so reluctantly let his mother go to start a new, _"free"_ life. Like his namesake, he spread his wings and flew. His wings carried him to the bright maelstrom of Coruscant, and then his wings carried him to the planet of water and lush grass– Naboo. Love had carried him into orbit, where he did the unthinkable. Love for all things had carried him through the end of the occupation, and the liberation of the planet.

Freedom was so relative-- to him, the only significant change was that he was no longer beaten black and blue. He still had masters, he still could not be his own person. He didn't know any better-- he had always known subservience. So, Love took on a new form again– admiration, ravenous hunger for praise and attention, idealistic dreams of proving oneself worthy of that praise and attention. He threw himself into the life of a Padawan under his new master without hesitation, because that was what he knew best. The love he had for Obi-Wan Kenobi burned as bright as a dwarf star. This love grew and changed over the years as they stood side-by-side, even though he knew in his heart that his freedom was only so cosmetic, not true, unabridged freedom. The love changed from love of fealty to love of kinship.

The angel returned to his life again, and she was _his everything._ When the cold and lonely dark threatened to engulf him at the sight of his broken, bleeding mother… the lone, brilliant spark of her love had kept him teetering, but on solid ground. The love for freedom had not died, but simply took on new form, new purpose… new meaning.

The angel stood by him on Geonosis as they were preparing to die. The electricity between them coursed through him like righteousness. But they survived. And they stood side-by-side again in Varykino, pledging life and love to one another. Guilt pooled in his stomach, but he knew that the universe sang with righteousness then, true and unwavering.

Love, that universal good, the thing that made him see the galaxy with hope and aspiration, grew weaker as war began. The death, the brutality of it all. Men borne and bred for slaughter cut down in their prime. Slavery by any other name was just as terrible.

But something new– diminutive in height, but a spirit the size of a destroyer, attitude, sass– all the things that reminded him so much of a cocky boy from Tatooine. He comes to love his young Padawan, and all the effort she puts into proving herself worthy of the title. The two work together and learn from one another. When she stands accused of unthinkable things, he stands firmly behind her and violently protests her innocence, refusing to back down when the odds seem unthinkable.

His love for those close to him– and his love for fairness, for justice, for _freedom_ howl like the sandstorms of his childhood.

When she leaves, his heart feels shattered, but he knows– it is for the best, anyway.

Love can betray, love can bite, love can do all the bad things in the universe, but he never shirks away from the danger once.

They call him _‘The Hero With No Fear’_. A moniker he doesn’t appreciate, but one he understands comes with the territory of war propaganda.

When he thinks the brother he never had perishes on board the flagship of Count Dooku, the cold darkness nearly consumes him. He is unable to pull back before he fells the disarmed Head of State, severing the figurehead of the Seperatists. Love does not guide him now, he floats aimlessly to ensure the safe landing of the Invisible Hand as it hurtles through Coruscanti airspace.

The angel falls, and with her, the war reaches fever pitch, and he feels out of his mind with grief– everything he’s loved has gone out, like a black hole rendering the Republic asunder.

When the truth confronts him, he hesitates very briefly. Love for justice burns bright still, but _love_ , _love_ bleeds. Like the angel bled. _Love_ is not always pure and honest, love can be a very brutal emotion. The love in him is no longer warm, it is cold and painful.

He does not hesitate again. His mentor, his friend, his _confidant_ falls over, dead. The Republic is thrown into chaos then.

He surrenders without a fight. A grand spectacle of a trial is held, and he fully expects to be sentenced to death. Death he would welcome, in many ways.

But his brother, those who fought beside him, and _his padawan_ , come together to help him. To save him. Love rekindles in his heart and burns brighter than either of the two suns of his childhood.

He walks free, but decides, after a very long time of war, that he wants peace. It takes all his power and his words, but reform comes in slow paces.

It takes some years, but he and his padawan do eventually reconnect. Love takes on so many forms, and love bonded in grief does come to them as well. Though it takes longer still, the two pledge life and love to each other– and vow to never let that love go.

And he is happy with that.


End file.
